One of those Weeks!

I have not felt very well this week, and I let things get away from me. I even missed my
Wednesday upload on my YouTube channel. I guess one step at a time. I did go to the doctor yesterday, and he put me on a couple of new medications plus set me up for another test. Hopefully, it is nothing, but I’m having some problems again. I honestly think a lot of it is from stress. When I was younger, I felt that the whole stress thing was just a bunch of bologna. Now that I’m older, well, I feel it more. I believe it more, I guess I should say because when I get stressed, I do start getting sick. So deep breaths, and I will get through this too.

I have unpacked a lot of the boxes that were packed up because I thought I was moving soon. I now don’t think it will be as soon as I thought it would be. It is ok. I have my own room, and I’ll have alimony so I can build up my personal checking account. I’ll also be getting a car soon, which will make me feel a lot better because I can gain back some of my independence.

Today the weather is a little cooler. I think I neglected to tell you it snowed here last Saturday, rained on Sunday, so all the snow was pretty much gone by noon, then on Monday it was 70! I’d say only in Georgia, but I’ve seen it do that in Oklahoma and Missouri before too. I’ve heard others in different states say that also. LOL, So I guess it happens pretty much everywhere. Today it is 54, which isn’t bad, it isn’t in the teens or anything, but to my body, it is too cold. LOL
I am working on my Resume, and oh my goodness it has been so long since I have worked, that I can’t remember where or when I worked. So making a Resume is difficult. I guess I’ll figure it out. LOL
Ok, This is a short one but I’ve run out of things to say. I hope you all have a great day!
Talk Soon!

A Good Monday!

I’m happy to say I had a good Monday. I actually accomplished things today. I even stuck with my schedule and did a video on my YouTube channel. I decided to make a schedule for my self like on here. Of course today’s blog is going out a little later but, hey, it is still going out.

Today I talked to a college about possibly applying to their school. I want to better myself and be self reliant. I don’t want to have to depend on anyone. It isn’t an ego thing it is an independent thing. I want to be better and I want to be happy. I am already working toward that goal. I am proud of myself too.

When you have lived the same way for almost 29 years it is hard to just change. I am refusing to live this way anymore. My life will be better by the end of the year, not just better but amazing!

Another thing I am doing is reconnecting to old friends that have always been there for me and even some new ones. Not talking to people for days at a time is not a good thing for anyone… well I guess if you don’t like to talk to people maybe it is ok, but if you haven’t guessed, I’m a people person. So lots of people are hearing from me for the first time in a long time or lots more than normal. I’m also bending ears for ideas of things I can do. LOL Right now my mind is on making money to live.

I don’t know if anyone reading this has read any farther down in my blog than this but I have had brain surgery and occasionally I forget things. like completely forget that I was ever told something or that I knew how to do something. Even occasionally I will type a word completely backwards or phonetically. For instance sometimes I will type something like my name backwards iroL… Crazy I know I also occasionally type the word of like ov. So going to work for someone really does scare me. How can I hold down a job if I can’t even type my own name forward. lol


I can talk though maybe I should stick to talking. I love to do voices too, wonder if I could get a job doing voice overs. That would be so fun. I loved acting when I was in school. I was pretty good at it too. I really wish I had pursued that career. Even if it was just a Community Theater.

Ok, I guess I’ve bored you all enough. I will talk to you soon. I hope you all have a wonderful evening, morning, or day when ever it is that you read this!

Talk to you soon!

Starting Over

Sometimes you know from the beginning that things aren’t right, but you ignore that feeling.  You go with it because you feel like you don’t have any other choices. Well, I’m here to tell you right now if you get that feeling go with it.  I feel like I’ve wasted half my life because I didn’t listen to that voice inside me.  Well, now it is a new day and a new time for me.

Now, I’m going to tell you how I’m changing my life for the better.  Yes, I’m 50, and yes, I’m going through a divorce, but I feel like I knew it from the beginning.  I feel happy for the first time in a very long time. I feel like the world is just within reach.  I know I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I’m not afraid anymore. I’m ready to reach for the stars and finally be the woman I am supposed to be.

I have a lot of friends who are bloggers themselves, and I will be talking to them as I go along this journey. I want this blog to be about more than just my life, but I’d like it to be informative.  I’m going to be researching jobs you can do from home and let you know what works and what doesn’t.

I’ll also be sharing books that I’m reading and share my thoughts on them.  I like all types of books, but I love historical fiction and science fiction the best.

Yes, I’m a geek, and I’m proud of it. I’ve loved computers since I was in 9th grade. I taught myself how to take them apart and put them back together and even taught myself how to work on Word, Excel, Powerpoint, and several other programs. Computers are one thing that just came naturally to me, so I must say that I’m thrilled I can use a laptop to change my life, possibly.

I also love music! Right now, one of my favorite artists is Sam Tinnesz. He is a very talented musician songwriter, but he is more than that he is a beautiful human being. He has a precious family and a brand new little boy.  I am just like a proud momma watching him grow to stardom, although he is one of those down to earth kind of guys that don’t let it get to his head, which makes me like him even more.

Ok, enough for now. I will be back tomorrow.

 

I hope you enjoyed reading my little blurb.   Talk soon, Lori.

 

 

One Step at a Time

Today, I woke up thinking about the changes about to happen in my life. Sometimes, I am afraid, but today I feel more determined than ever. It feels good to wake up with a good feeling. For a while now, I would wake up with anxiety. I know it is just one day, but I will take it one step at a time. It will only get better from here on out.
I think that most of the time, I overthink, but I’m not too fond of the unknown. That is what makes me overthink things. Anxiety is a terrible thing. It is funny people see me, and most of the time, they think I look good and look like my life is going great. Even when inside I’m hiding a lot of pain or heartache. I’m an optimist I try to see good in everyone and everything, which contradicts what I feel inside. Anyway, that isn’t what this post is supposed to be about so on the real topic.
Today is a good day. I see good things in the future. I have hope, and I’m taking those steps to make life better. I found a great YouTube channel the other day, and I’ve been watching her a lot here is her link.  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-kXUyNzCw-0QvBrTA1Lb1g Her name is Kat Theo, and she does a Money Monday series where she talks about how to make money from home, and she has checked all of the companies out or had other people tell her about them. I made a resume and put my application in several places — another good reason to have hope. I want to be self-sufficient.
Today I am going to be reading on self-esteem and confidence. I want to better myself and learn not to let that little nudge in my stomach get in my head. I want to be stronger and surer of myself and what I will do from this time forward.
I guess that is all for today. I am just writing down my thoughts and feelings. I hope it helps someone.

My Story

20200122_090953When this whole journey began, I didn’t have a clue what was about to happen. I have had migraines my entire life; I even remember when I was a child, I’d put pillows on top of my head or my arm across my head because my head hurt. Things started changing in the summer of 2013, though. My headaches started getting worse, much worse. I got to the point where I couldn’t even function.  I  had trouble every day. Sometimes the problem wouldn’t go away at all for days and days.  I would go to my doctor, and he’d give me a shot of something, and I’d go home sleep and wake up feeling a little better. Then the next day, it would start all over again.

My husband thought maybe I was just depressed and needed to get out of the house for a little while. So we went for a drive. On this drive, things changed drastically.  My head started hurting even worse, then I couldn’t see, and my hearing was just like a roaring. My husband took me to the ER immediately. While we were there, they did a CT, and when the doctor came back to talk to us, he told us I had a tumor and that I would need to have an MRI and follow up with my family physician.

So I had the MRI and then went to my doctor. Dr. White told me that I had not 1 but 2 brain tumors and that if I had to have them, they were in a perfect place. He reassured me that it was going to be ok and told me not to go home and worry. Thankfully he is someone that my family and I have known for a long time, and he knows how I am. The odd thing is I didn’t worry or freak out.  Not like I usually do. I mean, it was shocking, and it was annoying… I feel like the Lord gave me a peace about it.

Our next step was to see the neurosurgeon he looked at the MRI and told me that I had two tumors and that they were called Meningiomas. Meningiomas are tumors that are in the lining around your brain.  He said that we would do another MRI in 3 months, and then he sent me to see a neurologist.  She tried to help me with pain management and sleep issues. I saw her every month for three months. My symptoms only got worse.

The headaches didn’t ease up at all, and I started getting dizzy. I also began feeling like the floor was just being pulled out from under me.  I had to have someone with me when I walked because I lost my balance so quickly.  I looked like I was doing Michael Jackson, Thriller dance a lot of times.  I’d throw my hands out in front of me.  It was kind of a running joke with my family. Especially if I were out in public, we’d start acting like I was sometimes dancing. My daughter would do it too.  I love my family. I would seriously begin to forget things, and I’d say I have brain tumors. What’s your excuse.  LOL Ok, back to the story.

I had the second MRI, and we went back to my neurosurgeon.  This time he talked to us for 2 hours. The tumors had grown.  That was a scary thing to hear.  He also let us see the scans when we saw the tumors. It made the whole thing. I don’t know it was something about seeing my brain and then the black spots on top of my emotion… it was just shocking to see. He gave us the option to have the surgery or to go home and think about it. We decided to go back and talk about it before decided. This was a big decision, and we wanted to speak first. It didn’t take long though we decided that night. I wanted those things out of my head. So we set up the date to have the surgery for the end of December. I had to see my family doctor one more time before I had to have the surgery, and he prayed over me right there in the office. What a blessing.  All my family and friends were praying too.  I just felt so much love from so many people.

On the day of surgery, when I was in the OR, the nurses prayed over me also. The type of surgery that they did was called a craniotomy. They had to cut the top of my skull off and put it back on after they took the tumors out.  The tumors were more significant than what the doctor thought they were.  It ended up weakening my entire right side. I couldn’t move my right leg or foot. It was because the tumors pushed into my brain more than he thought.

I have a connective tissue disease called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. It affects all the connective tissue in your body, which is the soft tissue.  It affects all my joints, my stomach, my skin, and apparently, it changed the way the tumors looked in my brain.  I’ve done some research on my own, and it appears that people with EDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) are more prone to get meningiomas, which kind of explained why I had them.

I was in the ICU for a day and a half then in a regular room for four days.  I had physical therapy every day I was in the fitting room, and I could walk by the time I left.  When I got home, I hurt, but it was from the surgery, not the other pain.

If you have to have brain surgery, there are a few things I can tell you that will help.  First, when you go home from the hospital, have sunglasses. Second and eye mask or a cold washcloth over your eyes helped alleviate a lot of my pain. Third, have a soft pillow, maybe even a travel pillow.  It helps take the pressure off your head.  It isn’t easy, and the pain doesn’t go away quickly. I think two weeks after my surgery was probably the worst. Then it slowly started getting better.

Three months after surgery, I was feeling quite a bit better. I did still have problems with my foot and leg, and I always do today, but it is much better.  Time…  It takes a long time to start feeling better. Don’t think it won’t ever get better because it will.  Brain surgery isn’t like any other surgery.  When air hits your brain, it does something to it.  It takes longer to heal and longer to feel better than most medicines.

I am almost two years out, and I still have times of fatigue, and I still have migraines, but the migraines are just migraines. It isn’t anything like before.  My life is so much better and is only getting better day by day!  I couldn’t have done this without the Lord and the support of my family and friends.  If you or someone you know is going through anything like this, and you want to talk to someone, I’m here.  You can message me on here or email me at misokie629@gmail.com. I’d be happy to help any way I can.  Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

~Lori

The Road to Recovery

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In December it will be two years since I had brain surgery. I’m feeling so much better now than I was before the surgery. I can function on a daily basis, and my head doesn’t feel like it is going to explode anymore.  I also don’t feel like the floor is being jerked out from underneath me.

While all of that is good, there are still a few things I’m working on.  I’m working on getting all the feeling back in my leg and foot, I still have a few migraines here and there, I still have some fatigue, and I have a bit of trouble with my memory.  That is not to bad from what I was like two years ago!

I’m so thankful that things are so much better than they were in 2013. I am now able to homeschool my son; I can go places, and do something with my family.

One thing I feel like I need to say about the whole brain surgery thing is that I had praying doctors and nurses. I had praying friends and family. I genuinely believe that it made a world of difference in the outcome of my surgery and recovery.  When I went to see my family physician right before I had surgery, he prayed with Greg and I right there in his office.  Then when I was in the OR, the nurses prayed over me before they put me under.   I was so blessed.  I can’t thank everyone enough for their love prayers and support!  Most of all, I have to thank my Lord and Savior for keeping me safe and bringing me through the fire.

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